Exclusive Interview with The French Chef:

Since no one knows much about the man who calls himself The French Chef, The Straight Times decided to do an exclusive behind-the-sins interview with The Man himself...

Reporter: In 10 words, describe yourself.

TFC: Erm, actually...no,err you see, I ehh, ermmmm, I-

Reporter: Okay that's 10 words, it's enough, thank you. So what are the major projects you're currently undertaking?

TFC: Erm, major projects huh?... That would be getting my writcomm assignments done by next thursday...

Reporter: Any interesting events in your life lately?

TFC: I watched Will Smith's "I am Legend" a few days back and thought it was a real joke. I mean, it should be "I am History!"...I'm the REAL Legend....I mean, he died right? you get it? huh huh? He's history! *chokes on laughter*

Reporter: =.= errr right...so is there any advice you would like to share with our viewers?

TFC: Stick to reading my blog. I don't B!+(H

Reporter:Erh, Thanks. 

Hi ALL!

Greetings from your Creator and Well Wishes for the New Year.

All the Best with your New Year Resolutions.

Don't wish it for me since I didn't make any. (I broke half of them in the first three months last year after deciding to go poly)

Anyways. I hope you guys are Happy right now...eh...who cares about you guys actually? It's about me! I'm happy for sure...laughing hysterically since my deadline has been postponed by 3 days.

Okok no offense to the Wounded Until Start Singing (WUSS) people...I do care for you people. At least, I think so...

xD 

and yes, I'll add more pictures as soon as possible alright? Use your imagination for now.

I have seriously no idea:

-why i cant upload my pic
-how to add a playlist
-why my homework pile is frigging ridiculous

In the Beginning, Dan created his blog and chose a blog-skin. And it was Good.

On the Second Day, he (tried) added a profile picture, and the feminine side of his picture asked the inner-manliness of his pic, "Am i Fat?!". And all hell broke loose.

(Aside: I can't add any pictures for some reason, so i need help)[useless bugger].

Introducing, ... Guy Talk... ( I bet you viewers are going, "_|_ you man, so corny" >.<)

Anyways, here's the question that really stump ALL guys, (the straight ones that is), when a Lady ask you if she's fat, I mean, there is no model answer for it right?

If you reply with the truth, -hell no, you're like a bamboo, or, heck, you've finally realised you can't see your feet... be it your relative of just another friend, you sir, are marked for life. The International Women's Network (IWN)[prounonced as OWNED] is gonna blacklist you in their data base and you will have no peace for life. Your Mother-in-law, your food court auntie....

Anyways, if you lie, ...(10 secs later)...that's just dumb can?! Unless you're an imba liar try and fool a girl. They already know the truth. 

So why do they ask if they know the truth already? Search me Buddy, I'm a normal guy too. For Girls out there, if you haven't figured. Guys are simple,(*girl sniggers*) and straightforward AND practical. (I bet just this previous sentence made IWN create a new legistration that will make even my defense lawyers pay me to leave them) liek,wateva?!

Your third option to answering the question, is to change the subject, like, "how many more months?"(boy, if you do that, you are SO screwed)........

I have nothing else to say can?!

The closest model answer that I got out from a female friend was, "LIE! JUST LIE", I was like O.o i can see someone has esteem issues...

Anyways, i think that there's such a thing as pleasantly plump right?

FOR female viewers,

THIS might be the 100th of so plea you heard, but please do give guys a break and not ask them such a rhetoric question.

AND guys don't really go for looks after awhile, it's the character that matters in the end.

So anyways, if you think you got a bone to pick with me, just throw it all down in the c-box at the bottom of the page, and no, my c-box is not fat...can?! 

ok, let's clarify this. I'm male, and straight, and yes, Guys do have the Right to Gossip.

ItsliekomgimnotgonnabeblondeandliekkkkanythinwithallthetwennysandawesomesBUT

This is my first post. Do come back if you're just ____ bored and need to read some _____ unfiltered thoughts of mine.

Feel free to air your opinions in the c-box at the bot even if you think im _____ . 

Just Keep checking back. I'm sure your _____ life will allow it.

AND yes, if you need to know, this blog was made to attract attention, and of course, update my friends about my life (politically correct answer).

If you're not rolling your eyes already or rubbing those goose-pimples...liekwateva?! be back soon.

I'll do my _____ utmost to keep you Entertained.

(Feel in the blanks with what you deem appropriate)

(Off watching TV and feeling _____ about the New Year because of the Pile of _____homework left)